“If a child doesn’t know how to read,
we teach.”
“If a child doesn’t know how to swim, we teach.”
“If a child doesn’t know how to multiply, we teach.”
“If a child doesn’t know how to drive, we teach.”
“If a child doesn’t know how to behave, we... teach? …punish?”
Why can’t we finish the last sentence as automatically as we
do the others?
Tom Herner, 1998.
Like many of you, I have just gotten home after a very
tiring but rewarding day at school. I find myself reflecting on the many
issues that we face each day that most of us never thought about or were taught
about in our preparation as educators. In my 21 years as a School
Counselor in Hanover County, I have had the opportunity to support our students
in a wide range of issues affecting their education. Like you, I see
students coming to school with heavy emotional burdens that affect their
academic, emotional and behavioral progress. As you well know,
these students can also impact the learning of others and limit our ability to
do what we love - teach. Therefore, I believe that the need for social
and emotional learning is one of today’s major education issues.
An estimated half of all U.S children have experienced some
kind of trauma in the form of abuse, neglect, violence or other difficult
household circumstances; and many of those of children have experienced
more than one type of traumatic event. After working in all areas of
Hanover County during my many years, I can assure you that trauma impacts our
students in each and every one of our corridors, and its impact seems to be
increasing. Because of the effects of trauma, we simply cannot assume
that our students are coming to school with the skills necessary to be able to
listen, attend, regulate their emotions and problem solve. In fact, many of
them are coming with a set of survival skills that are necessary in their home
environments but certainly not conducive to school success.
Furthermore, our children are also facing other types of
stressors that nonetheless have the same effect as the traumatic experiences
listed above. A child who is traumatized by the stress of perfection due
to high expectations and responsibility or one who is a crumbling under the
pressures of peers and social media can look very similar to a child who is
traumatized by a fear of going home to an abusive situation. Therefore,
our primary goal is not necessarily to identify children of trauma (unless they
are currently living in an unsafe situation) but to instead teach all children
the skills necessary to develop social and emotional competence to deal with
these stressors. These skills contribute greatly to children’s resilience
regardless of their experiences.
I think that many of us are also beginning to understand that traditional
discipline - suspensions and random consequences - don’t seem to be
successful with many of our students. We have to do something different if we
want to reach and teach our students. Ross Green, in his book Lost At School
explains that kids do well when they can. Most kids know what we want them to
do and they truly want to do it. If they aren’t, it is often because we
are asking them to do something beyond their abilities - beyond what they know
how to do. While I understand that some days this can certainly be difficult to
believe, we have to remember that these children are very adept at
building walls that are seemingly impossible to break down to keep untrusted
adults at bay, lest they learn the truth. The truth is that many times
our students simply “don’t know how”. Therefore, developing a
relationship through which we can begin to understand why a child is
challenging is the first and most important step in helping him or her.
THEN WE TEACH. As educators we teach - we teach reading, we teach
math, we teach science and history, we teach art, music, and physical health,
we even teach driving; and, yes, we must teach behavior and social emotional
skills as well. We are responsible for teaching the whole child so why would we
teach all of these other things and not teach emotional health when it is
essential to the well being and success of our students?
Social and emotional learning enables children to
apply the knowledge and skills necessary to understand and manage emotions,
feel and show empathy to others, set and achieve goals, and develop and
maintain positive interpersonal relationships. When children can consistently
use these skills within the classroom they are better able to access the
educational opportunities that we provide for them. This increases their
resilience and likelihood for success moving into adulthood. It has
been said that social emotional learning is not something extra to be added to
a student’s plate - it is the plate. It is the foundation on which all other
learning can take place and it ultimately makes our job as educators easier.
However, successful implementation of a social emotional
learning curriculum requires changing the mindset of all educators with regards
to its importance to academic success. When school division leaders
support this shift in mindset, it increases the opportunities for individual
schools to develop this facet of learning. Schools can then have access
to the teacher training, support, and professional development necessary to
integrate social and emotional skills into their school-wide curricula.
Division support also enables us to develop purposeful partnerships
within our community to help support the social and emotional needs of our
students. This may include partnerships with mental health agencies to
provide therapeutic interventions within the school setting, collaboration with
other community organizations to support a family’s basic needs or to provide
student mentors, and opportunities for both support for and engagement with
families. Schools are but one piece of the puzzle in meeting the social
and emotional needs of our students, and community outreach and support is essential.
As a society we can no longer assume that children come to school with the social and emotional skills necessary for success, but the good news is that these skills can be taught through direct instruction, modeling and practice. Furthermore, school division support and meaningful community partnerships can provide the wrap around services necessary to meet the diverse needs of our students. I believe it is a great privilege and responsibility to be a part of an
educational environment that can help create caring, empathetic and emotionally
intelligent people who will be empowered to achieve career and interpersonal
success. We will also be able to finally say “If a child doesn’t know how
to behave, we teach.”
Paula's bio:
Paula's bio:
Paula Drumheller has been spent her
entire career as school counselor in Hanover County for 21 years. Her first position was at Elmont Elementary and she has worked in several
elementary schools as both a part-time and full-time school counselor.
She currently works at Henry Clay Elementary with an incredible staff from whom
she learns everyday and with children that she loves. When Paula is not
working she enjoys spending time with her friends and family - her husband,
Davis, and her two children Caroline and Kate. Caroline is currently
Freshman at Virginia Tech and her daughter, Kate is a Sophomore at Hanover High
School. She enjoys reading and going out to dinner with
friends.
